Birthday Post 2019

Well, it’s happened - I am officially Liii - I’m never going to say that I am wise, but here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way, mostly from getting it wrong repeatedly….. I started out by writing them as advice, but then modified the second set to be more about things I have done/am doing that have improved my life. It’s all a continuum of the family motto - Vita Mali Electio Ironia (a life of irony and bad choices)

First, advice from the #heydumbass files:

- Don’t go for the lone cart - I know! It LOOKS like it’s going to be so much easier than grunting one out of that cart line, but you have no idea how many people have fallen for that, taken it out, and brought it back because it has a clunky wheel and you can’t even get your shopping done! Let it stay there and get one out of the line. As always, avoid making the purpose of your life to serve as a warning to others.

- Reach to the back at the salad bar or buffet - NEVER, I repeat, NEVER, take what’s in the front. I shouldn’t even have to say this, because I know you see the kids lined up there licking/slurping/sneezing etc while their parents aren’t even WATCHING because they are too busy filling their own plate! Somebody PLEASE invent a salad bar/buffet barrier that has a conveyor and glove holes or something like when you hold a baby in the NICU! You could save the world!

- Don’t pull through or back-in on slant parking!! - again, I can’t believe I have to say this, but it seems to be a Texas thing. HOLY CRAP people!! Anything else besides a straight pull in on slant parking means when you leave you are GOING THE WRONG WAY! It’s annoying, and I will yell at you and make faces, so just stop it.

Then, a few more serious moments:

- Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. Happiness is something you create. I have recently seen/heard examples of a few folks who have not been “nice” to me, or whom I have resented for not following up on something, who are/have been WONDERFUL friends and have done SUPPORTIVE/NURTURING service to others around them. Allow others to make mistakes, and recognize that perspective and personality differences interfere with relationship building. Anger, taking things personally, and grudges only weigh a person down and keep them from the happiness they deserve.

- I have been confronted with a conundrum involving one of our most fundamental rights - the presumption of innocence. Just because someone is in the back of a police car does not mean they are actually guilty of anything! They have yet to be tried and convicted. Being on the news as a person of interest also is not proof of guilt. I have started listening to podcasts and stories from different aspects of our legal system around the country, and it is absolutely appalling sometimes when the assumption of guilt has railroaded a person into prison (no, I did not become a bleeding heart, so give it a listen before you think I’ve gone nuts). A huge contributor is the press, doing what they do naturally, covering negative sensational stories because it will sell. Then we all think the court of public opinion, which often is missing a LOT of information, has it all sewn up. What if I told you (and you can imagine Lawrence Fishburn saying this if you like) that after a person has been convicted, there are legal statements and documents attesting that PROOF OF INNOCENCE is NOT enough to overturn a conviction. Yes, that is what is happening. Check out Serial, In the Dark, and/or Undisclosed just for starters, and be prepared to have your perceptions altered. I’m working on looking into things a little more before I start condemning one side or the other, and generally condemning less….

I am working on owning my own choices. If I want something to be different, then I have to BE different, or DO things differently. I’m rather appalled at how many times I hear someone in a TV show or movie say they “didn’t have a choice”. Yes, they DID have a choice, and we all do, no matter what is happening. Obfuscating our choices by giving them away to others is still a choice. The problem here is that sometimes the choice is between something distasteful and something terrible. Our humanity is wrapped up in the choices we make, the impulses we CHOOSE to act upon, and the actions we take or avoid. I am the master of my fate! That means if I can’t do what I’m good at, I should get good at what I do. We can always be better, and every day is a new chance to improve.

I always try to treat people as individuals - avoiding stereotypes whenever possible, and that can be very difficult. Each of us would like to be treated as an individual, and we need to give others the same opportunity.

Life is NOT about what happens to you, it’s about how you deal with what happens to you. I am trying to appreciate everything that is miraculous around me. We have the ability to sit quietly in a chair while experiencing the miracle of flight! Sitting in a chair in the sky! We can cover the same ground in a matter of a few hours that it took handcart companies 3 months to cross (Pioneer Day was last Wednesday). Happiness can be found in service and appreciation.

I am always trying to stay in touch with my friends and family members better, and usually failing miserably. Social media has improved my ability to stay connected, but I could write more letters.

I could shut up once in a while. For those of you who agree, I do think about it. I do often remind myself to listen more and talk less. I just listen a LOT ; )