Hey Dumbass - stories of people, and events, that make no sense (sometimes it's me)

Well, it’s happened - I am officially Liii - I’m never going to say that I am wise, but here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way, mostly from getting it wrong repeatedly….. I started out by writing them as advice, but then modified the second set to be more about things I have done/am doing that have improved my life. It’s all a continuum of the family motto - Vita Mali Electio Ironia (a life of irony and bad choices) First, advice from the  # heydumbass  files: - Don’t go for the lone cart - I know! It LOOKS like it’s going to be so much easier than grunting one out of that cart line, but you have no idea how many people have fallen for that, taken it out, and brought it back because it has a clunky wheel and you can’t even get your shopping done! Let it stay there and get one out of the line. As always, avoid making the purpose of your life to serve as a warning to others. - Reach to the back at the salad bar or buffet - NEVER, I repeat, NEVER, take what’s in th...

I HAVE to post because - NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO and a heaping helping of NOOOOOOOO!!! Anyone who loves their child and wants them to learn an instrument should go right past this display and buy the child a fifth of Jack and a carton of cigarettes, because IT WILL DO LESS DAMAGE! Arturo Sandoval, when he was a child growing up in Cuba, gave up his only pair of shoes to get a cornet. Compared to these instruments, that cornet was gloriously legitimate, the trade equivalent of Jimmy Choo shoes. I started on a Blessing cornet, which would be the blessing of angels compared to these monstrous, potentially lead containing, travesties of form. A hole will melt in them if you look at them too heatedly, and avoid the ghost pepper for dinner if you want them to last more than a day...... Long ago, my VERY BEST starters EVER (truly, no knock to any former student, but these twin boys came out of the musical petting zoo with a clarinet and cornet and were ready to move up to the next ban...

We moved into our current house (in western TX) with the existing kitchen appliances in place, but the power had been off long enough that, before we did a walk through prior to move-in, there had been a pretty powerful stink from the rotting items in the fridge. The realtor and associates had done a very good job of cleaning it out, and had clearly used bleach, but what really made me laugh was when I opened the fridge and saw that, obviously to try and keep the inside a little fresher, they had carefully opened the tops and left two canisters of................................baking POWDER...... maybe they were just hoping I'd want to make some biscuits. (that's a mini #heydumbass inside the larger tale) Anyway, the fridge was a Samsung with french doors and the freezer on the bottom, and it has water and ice through the door, plus an ice bucket in the freezer. Last March the lower ice maker was not working right, and the freezer stopped freezing, so I had a repair guy out...